Hannah's code switching practices

Last Thursday, when Hannah returned from school, I noticed that she spoke to Marta (her baby sitter, or I should say her sitter since Hannah is not a baby any longer) in English and Marta answered in Spanish. She said something like: Apple Marta? And Marta said: Si ya te doy una manzana. This was the first time that I became aware of this pattern (though probably this had been happening for some time already).

I became concerned that if we allowed Hannah to continue doing what she was doing, that is use English to communicate with us and us respond in Spanish), she would become one of those children who have listening (and hopefully reading) skills in Spanish only, with her speaking skills in English. Not that there is anything wrong with this, but I want to make sure that Hannah becomes bilingual and biliterate (for many different reasons).

So what did I decide to do to "solve" the problem? (And of course, I told Marta that we both have to use the same strategy): When I hear Hannah speak to me in English, I tell her: Mami, tu ingles es mucho mejor que el mio y el de Marta, nosotras no te endemos bien asi que hablanos en castellano (Mami, your English is much better than Marta's and mine, we can't understand what you are saying, so please speak to us in Spanish). Of course, she still speaks to us in ENglish, ONLY when she has just gotten back from school. So we will have to keep working on this.

Is it appropriate to bring a child to a business meeting?

Rofucious raised the following questions: "...if I consider something a business meeting, I would not bring my 2-year old toddler to the event. On the other hand, if most parents on the board consider this an informal get-together to simultaneously take care of some business at hand for the preschool, it wouldn't be totally out of context to bring one's child. But then again, if EVERYONE brought their child to the meeting, don't you think there would be quite a bit of distractions and it would take longer to finish the meeting?"



In the past, before I had children, I was critical of colleagues who brought their toddlers to business meeting. Aya Matsuda was the first TESOLer who brought her toddler to committee meetings. Her husband, Paul, was the first man to bring their daughter to TESOL Quarterly editorial meetings. Now, Kana is 5 years old and she attends meetings (of course we are talking about selected meetings).



When I first heard of Kana attending a TQ meeting, I was highly critical: "How could anyone do that? That is so unprofessional." But with time I came to the understanding that in this society, we separate our "private" life from our "professional" life so much that end up by becoming lesser professionals. After all, our personal lives, especially in our field, enhance our professional lives. I am not saying that everyone should bring their children to meetings. What I AM saying is that sometimes there are people whose ONLY way of contributing to an association (or a board in this case) is by bringing a child.

At the same time, bring the child to a meeting give the child an excellent picture of who his or her parent is outside the "mommy" sphere. I think this gives a child an opportunity to see what mommy does outside the "mommy" circle. This is important for me.

Selfish? It could be. But unfortunately the changes I have experienced have not been positive. In the past, I would have brought Hannah to one meeting so that she could see what her mami did. I was PRIVILEGED! And, more importantly, I thought: You know, if you are not priviledged, then it's your problem. Now, I agree with Hillary Clinton: It takes a village to bring up a children. And many of us are NOT privileged. So what should we do? Not contribute?

I have chosen to do the following. Choose activities that : 1. allow me to work from home (like the Eskey award in CATESOL or the TQ Editorial board), 2. allow me to bring my daughter to the meeting (e.g., the Hebrew classes that I wanted to take-the students and the teacher said Bring Hannah, why would that be a problem?), or 3. work to change the system (organize a session in TESOL looking at Rocifuis point--the division between the private and public spheres OR lobby to have TESOL offer child services at the conference--which they will do!).

I want to thank Rofucious for bringing up the question that people who disagree with me will raise! Cheers, Kuki

BITCHING AROUND

I am so pissed off! I volunteered to serve as webmaster for my daughter's school. But I explained that I would have to bring Hannah to the Board meetings because I don't have a baby-sitter at night and I am a single parent.

What is the response of the President of the Board? "Ideally, we don't want kiddos there; makes it harder to get through the business at hand :)" Give ME a break! This is a Board of a Community Pre-School. I have served on the Board of TESOL, I have been President of CATESOL. I serve on the Editorial Board of TQ. I teach at the university. And I would have never EVER told another woman that it's harder to get through business when you have children at hand!

So here was my response to this person: ... unfortunately, I don't have an alternative arrangement for my family situation. So unfortunately, I won't be able to help. Something to consider in a distant future: It could be that as (or if) the school demographics or parents' work schedules change, there might be a need for changes in the policy... (This is actually happening in my professional association where bringing children to our committee meetings was not acceptable in the past and now there has been a change.)In any case, again, thank you to all the parents on the board. You do so much work on behalf of our children!

As I wrote my message, I kept wondering whether it was a good idea to send it out. But I said to myself: YOU HAVE TO! One of the things that I learned from my friend Aya Matsuda is thatyou have to educate people about what it means to be a professional woman or a single parent.

What do YOU think? I'd love to get your comments! Be blunt! Be truthful! Kuki

I'm back.... at least for a while

I'll blog for a couple of weeks and see if I can get back to it.... Too much has happened in these two years but I want to keep focusing on Hannah's language development skills....Cheers, Kuki